Oh. My. God.

It took me this long to actually finally realize who I've been waiting for all my life.

My Dream Guy.

It's Johnny Castle.

I think i've been in love with him since before I can remember.

Wow. I know who i'm looking for!

Ok, maybe not really. I know he's not going to look like Patrick Swayze (mmmm.... *drools*) but still, this kinda helps.

Oh God, its hopeless. I'm never going to find him.

*sighs* i'll be alone forever. oh well. don't forget kids, i have a backup plan. And its not getting married to someone else. I've kinda scratched that plan. I'm going straight to being crazy cat/snake/monkey/bear lady. Not all of them at once, but surely one of them is going to reject me, so thats why i have four backups. (you can never be too prepared when having a backup plan.) I don't know why i just suddenly decided not to marry anyone. Look, if i can't marry my dream guy, then i just won't do it. even if i really wanted 2 weddings. oh well.

anyway.... yah... as you may have guessed, i have been watching Dirty Dancing a bit. I almost forgot i loved it as much as i did. Or i forgot why i loved it as much as i did. But, thankfully, i have fixed that little problem.

I [heart] Johnny Castle.

~kisses

so...

today was ok...

i spent my morning in bed, watching The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, and crying.

Last night was fun, but sad. needed, i think. it helped me out. (Thanks vix)

Watching that movie mixed with some stuff from last night... it made me think more... about certain things... certain people.

So i took a step. and i cried again.

then i went to work. i was quiet, and doing dishes, which made me happy, cuz then i could dwell over all the possibilites of what could be said and be sad.

had a late rush of people... you know the kind...

cleaned. got prepared for tomorrow.

so i retook the step. and i didn't cry. but i was still.... nervous.

then something happened to take my mind off of things.

then i had to not be distracted anymore.

and it was awkward.

it probably will be for a while. and it'll never be like it was.

we're too different, yet still the same in some respects.

i suppose its a work in progress. both participants just have to be willing to try.

i thought i lost you once. it wouldn't be that hard to lose you again. it wasn't as hard as i thought when i lost you the first time.

today was... awkward. different. quiet.

but needed.

so...

~kisses

Jesus this thing is long. Whatever. I'm bored out of my mind.

1. What's your full name? Caitlin Midori Takeda McIntyre
2. What colour pants are you wearing? blue jeans
3. What are you listening to right now? music. what else?
4. What's the last thing you ate/drank? pasta salad / coke
5. Do you wish on stars? sometimes, when i'm in the mood
6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? black. red. blue. green. pink. any of those.
7. The weather right now? um... dark... ish....
8. Last person you talked to on the phone? um... i was on the work phone... so i don't know....
9. Do you like the person that sent you this? i stole it from jamieson. no one really sent it to me. if they did, i deleted it.
10. Favourite drink? non-alcoholic drinks - cola, milk. alcoholic drink - long island ice teas
11. Hair colour? dark brown
12. Favourite sport? um... does the avoidance game count as a sport? i'm really good at avoiding people....
13. Do you wear contacts? no
14. Siblings? yes
15. Favourite month? um... maybe? late september - early october. Soctober.
16. Favourite food? mmmm... foood. chocolate... *drools*
17. Last movie you watched? Serenity.
18. Favourite day of the year? uh.... holidays are usually nice
19. What do you do to vent anger? a lot of things.
20. Your favourite toy as a child? Zack, a stuffed animal... of sorts. He's an alien type thing.
21. Summer or winter? both
22. Hugs or kisses? hugs.
23. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, duh! idiot...
24. Do you want your friends to email back? no. since i'm not emailing anyone.
25. Who is the most likely to respond? NO ONE!!
26. Who is the least likely to respond? I DON'T EVEN CARE!
27. Living arrangements? at home. until drew finds a place and i just happen to move in....
28. When was the last time you cried? last time i remember? Oct 8 2005 while in a plane, listening to I Only Wanna Be With You by Hootie and the Blowfish. Shut up.
29. What is under your bed? stuff
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Lindsey
31. What did you do last night? watched my pretender dvd.... watched tv with my mum and sis, went to bed.
32. Favourite smells? old spice, my mom's old perfume, axe, nana's japanese food... um, there are others, i'm sure
33. What inspires you? i'm not sure yet...
34. What frightens you? a lot of things
35. Plain, buttered, or salted popcorn? buttered AND salted
36. Favourite car? don't have one
37. Favourite flower? um... a pretty one?
38. Number of keys on your key ring? 2
39. Can you juggle? why would i want to?
40. Favourite day of the week? friday-sun... and any days i have off
41. What did you do on your last birthday? um... ate at boston pizza with a few friends?
42. In how many provinces have you lived? 1
43. In how many cities have you lived? 1
44. How many cars have you had? me? i've only had 1
45. Where were you born? richmond.

wow... that wasn't as... satisfying as i wanted it to be. oh well. it passed time....

Til next time...

~kisses

Hey Everybody.

I've been home for a little while now. Things seem different yet the same. I feel like I have changed some though, and it's for the better. I feel like i can be a stronger person. I won't put up with the shit that i've been putting up with.

I miss my aussie friends. its not fun.

When i was away, I missed my friends here, and now that i'm here, i miss them.
I still miss some friends from here...

i dunno... i felt like i needed to update or something.

work is work. i need the money. I'll be travelling again in a few years. There is a plan. Or at least a plan in the works, right Sheena?

I'm glad I'm back though. Don't get me wrong, i really really really liked travelling, getting my head clear of stuff and stuff... but i missed home. Missed my room, my parents, my friends, my car (not necessarily in that order). I missed the rain. While i was away, there was no really good rain. The England, Scotland and Ireland gave good tries, it just wasn't the same as home though, you know?

I'm wanting a thunderstorm though. A really good thunderstorm that I could rage with (not that i'm a rageful person... ... or anything ... .. .. ... shut up. ... .....) or cry with. whatever my mood is at the time. and not like, 3am thunderstorm. A middle of the day, or even better, late-ish at night. When its dark. really dark. i dunno. whatever.

ok... i guess that's it.

Where are you? I miss you.

yah...



~kisses

Heya!

I'm in Ireland, but alas, no Adam and I only have today and tomorrow left! then we get back to london, then the day after that is HOME!! So yay! Then's Thanksgiving in Midway! so yay! then i get back and even more yay!!

but i've made some really great friends, and even a new sister. her name is also Merran. She's way cool. um... i'm running out of time, as usual, but don't worry. i come home in a few days!!!! yay!!!

lots of love peoples!

~kisses